The One Who Leads

Leadership can often feel like a dance, especially if you’re trying to do it with other key leaders. Sometimes we find ourselves dancing on our own or maybe trying to dance with others but stepping on toes, or even forgetting the right moves altogether.

When we find ourselves in the leadership dance with others what do we do? How do we lead in a way that honours God and advances His kingdom? Are there some basic moves we can follow? Often these things are filed in the “didn’t learn this at Bible college” file.

Danny Hunt’s book “The power of two: delighting in the leadership dance”, is a unique resource for those of us who are leading with another key leader or two. He has a bunch of wisdom for leadership but there’s a key chapter that stood out: a letter from a second chair leader to a first chair leader. Here is it in full:

“First-chair leaders, we want to be your greatest supporters, following and empowering you in every way we can. We count it a privilege to serve and partner with you. We will be loyal, honest and show you our trust and respect. We commit ourselves to have your back and intercede for you. We choose to persevere under pressure and model unity with you before others. We want to be teachable and will also come to you when we need your input. We will do all we can to keep our relationship healthy and growing. You are the key leader, and how you lead affects everyone. 

Mr Holland in the film Mr Holland’s Opus discovered that he made his greatest impact by how he influenced people, not by achieving his individual goals. Likewise, it is primarily the quality of your leadership that will be multiplied. Any insecurities or difficulties in handling the pressures of your role will open up potential vulnerabilities for the other leaders and people in the organisation. Whether others can heed the biblical charge to consider the outcome of the way of life of their leaders and imitate their faith (Heb 13:7) will depend on the degree to which you model leadership health. We need you to do your job, and we are counting on you to cast a vision we can serve and be a healthy leader that we can follow. If you are not in a good place emotionally or spiritually, please admit your need and seek the help of others. The challenge for all of us is to show leadership that does not just depend on our position. 

Professor Michael Useem reflects, ‘Downward and upward leadership are integrally reinforcing; if you are effective at the first, it will beget the second; if you are adept at the second, it can inspire the first.’ Those you lead will be looking for initiative, enthusiasm and consistent modelling. It is far easier to follow someone whose leadership is clear and compelling. We hope you will appreciate us sharing the following things from our perspective. 

First of all, we need you to not just share the responsibilities, but also give us the appropriate authority that goes with them. Any competitive approach to our working relationship will severely limit the potential of our joint leadership and the health of our organisation. Being a first-chair leader with a vision to see your organisation grow, we hope you will do all you can to enhance the ministry of your second-chair leaders, whose role it is to see that vision fulfilled. We are your ministry partners as much as we may be your subordinates. We are your ministry partners as much as we may be your subordinates 

Second, there need to be clear lines of demarcation that separate our responsibilities. This makes it easier to follow your lead in the dance. Otherwise, confusion or overlap may lead you to micromanage and second-guess our decisions. The result would be friction in our teamwork, which would drain our energy and reduce our effectiveness. If the lines of communication are muddied, it makes it difficult for those who report to the rest of us. For example, we ask you to discourage people from seeking backdoor access to you in areas that are our responsibility. We need you to encourage others to deal directly with us as the leader in that situation. Similarly, problems will also arise if you expect us to do things that are actually your responsibility, not ours. 

Third, we are not your clones. In fact, we, especially those of us in an associate role, may be more skilled in some areas than you. Hence we need you to be open to what you can learn from us. While you will have greater expertise in many areas, the most effective leadership is open and accepting of questions and feedback. In other words, we hope to participate in decision-making and challenge you appropriately. 

Fourth, your relationship with us is crucial. A healthy and growing relationship between us gives those connected to us security and confidence. We need you to share your lives with us as much as possible and do as much as you can with us. This should include times of relaxation as well as partnership in the intensity of the workplace. To develop our relationship both ways, we need to understand each other’s strengths, weaknesses, joys, hurts and passions, as well as the things that drain both of us. We therefore need to lower our masks and be transparent with each other. It will involve laughing, crying, praying and playing together. 

Fifth, developing our relationship will entail you making this a priority in the use of your time. As our first-chair leaders, we need you to meet regularly with us and review how things are going. This could include an agreed list of issues that need to be watched. We may eventually come to consider you a spiritual father or mother, or desire such a relationship. This gives you the privilege of being a most significant influence in other areas of our lives. 

Sixth, please take great care to listen to us; such times can too easily be squeezed out of our busy leadership lives. Listening communicates respect, appreciation and value. And active listening will help you to keep in touch with how we are doing and more quickly pick up any warning signs, frustrations or misunderstandings. The tensions that go with the paradoxes of our role can be eased if you are aware of how they have an impact on us individually. We are more likely to be open and honest if you routinely give us the opportunity to share. Good communication is a measure of the health of any relationship, and it is better to err on the side of over-communicating. In addition, a mutual commitment to minimising delays in finding or sharing any requested answer would bless both of us. We hope you will also help sound out our sense of what God is saying, as we seek to hear the Holy Spirit’s voice together. 

Seventh, trust is the glue that will hold our joint leadership together and protect our organisation. You need to trust us to implement your instructions and give us freedom to execute the vision in ways that may convey our own individuality. This means accepting the risk that we will make mistakes as we step out in new ways and learn from our failures. Your trust will be obvious, too, any time we need to step in for you. We need your trust in our networking and dealings outside the organisation and with other second-chair leaders. This empowers us to reach towards our potential. Rather than be concerned that another organisation might want to poach us, or that others may guide us in ways that are at odds with your current leadership, the encouragement to explore beyond our present context is far more likely to benefit both the organisation and us. Ideally, we need you to give us time to try things and process experiences. You will give us space on the dance floor and not expect us to get things right the first time and every time. You will give us the benefit of the doubt and look for reasons to trust us rather than doubt us. As a result, we are much more likely to trust you. Otherwise our leadership energy is drained by a fearful anticipation of your disapproval rather than accomplishing the vision. 

Eighth, please be careful not to so consume any of us in an assistant role, for example, that we lack the time and resources to grow. Those of us in an apprentice role need to be allowed to lead and learn, if we are ever to become a first-chair leader. If we are functioning in an associate role, we need you to encourage us to build on our expertise and even supersede you in some areas. We need you to be committed to our development, and if there is a development plan in place, we need you to regularly review it with us. Asking us about our interests and empowering us to handle more major projects are some ways to do this. We are energised by change. This means we need you to make room for us to take some steps in new areas, which may be similar to or distinctly different from those in which you are involved. Finding opportunities outside the organisation will be important, which could mean you sponsoring us or recommending us to others for a particular role. Your leadership style will therefore need to adjust over time from one that might be primarily directive to a more coaching approach. Asking questions will help this process, as we often will wait to be asked something or we may not be aware of your different perspective. Continuing to be available and having an open-door policy are wonderful gifts you can offer to any of us. 

Ninth, we, like all leaders, are blessed by the affirmation of our supervisor. This is especially powerful when it is given in public, as Moses did for Joshua (Num 27:18–20), or in front of our peers, maybe at a team meeting. It is particularly important when we are under particular pressure or at the centre of criticism. We may need to be reminded that we do count (1 Cor 12:20–22), we are capable, and that others have confidence in us. It might simply involve passing on to us a note or journal article. The fact that you communicate personal thoughts about us, or go to the trouble of sending something to us, means so much. 

Tenth, please be careful how you convey that you may be more interested in one individual more than other team members. Other leaders will certainly be sensitive to any perceived favouritism. The best communication in a team occurs in a spider web of interactions, rather than following a hub-and-spoke pattern with you as the focus of one-on-one conversations. You need to facilitate interaction among team members and whenever possible be present when this is happening. Such actions will ensure that you leave a legacy of being an effective Christian leader who truly empowered others and multiplied your leadership. You will have shown how ‘the power of two’ can have an incredibly significant impact and that your leadership is about being number two too!’ “